The Murdering Doll

It’s so dry right now that Bill tells me the land is farting. At first I thought he said, “fighting”, but after I had him repeat it I realized that yes, the land is farting. “Farting out dust.”

At this point, nearly a week in, I’ve heard from more than one West Australian that this might be the hottest and driest July, ever. July is smack dab in the middle of winter down under and usually the wettest month. No rain so far and its already half over. Little water means even less rainwater that the folks out this way use for showering, gardening, and pretty much everything aside from drinking. Less water means less feed and less feed means animals will have to be put down (shot) when the current feed runs out (sometime in October).

See, whether you want to believe in global warming or not, its hot. It’s hot here; it’s hot back home, in Colorado. And the weather and the water and the animals and plants and even all of us all are going to suffer a bit more this year than the last because of it.

Well, with that depressingly surreal thought, I stoically welcome you to the bug show! We have huntsman (it WAS a huntsman the first night! Jesus, do you think the same bastard follows me around this damn continent? Only a different version, and bigger, scarier, hairier, than I’m used to?). We also now have Red Backs! In the showers no less! And not just anyone’s shower, but mine. The Red Back spider closely resembles the black widow and is one of the most poisonous spiders in all of Oz, and the world. Was real nice to finally meet one in the buff! And, just now, a scorpion (two inches long?) was found precariously hanging from the outside of the bathroom door. At this point we all scream at the new bugs, tell anyone not present, and then grab our cameras! We’ve been warned that the snakes might come out soon enough. The ‘wet’ usually keeps them down but since it’s been so hot and so dry…

Wait, the girls are screaming bloody hell….

(At this point my heart doesn’t even skip a beat, far from it. I hear a scream and I make my way slowly knowing full well some epic kind of new ‘horror’ awaits…they tell me it sounds like something ‘bigger than a rat, like a small dog’ is running across the ceiling above them. In their room is the ‘screamer’, this girl even went out of her way to tuck and fold her entire bed and move it one foot from the wall so no creepy crawlies could get in…at this point I can tell what the ‘bug/strange noise screams’ sound like and realize there is no need to panic, at least not straightaway…)

West Australia so far, is perfect. What I’ve got right now is six girls from England, a girl from Banff and two Yanks. Our discussions have been amazing and non-stop, with tangents being blown through like the wind. The Sunday of our arrival we hit an olive grove, admired wildflowers (including the gorgeous Kangaroo Paw), sampled olives, oils, breads and spreads to our hearts content. Then we arrived at the Berrier Estates for a healthy sampling of eighteen wines. Our gracious hostess asked if we’d like reds or whites and a few of the girls cried valiantly, “We’ll try the lot!” At the vineyards, they give you a bucket and tell you to spit out what you don’t like but I never thought many people did that. So I was surprised to see one of the Americans, of all nationalities, doing this! I sampled all of mine fully, with the wines all tasting familiarly blurred towards the end. Merlot was the easy favorite (I think). The land is rich with vineyards but I do wonder where they get all that water and if a farmer and a vineyard have fair and equal water rights. What do you reckon the government would support first? Crops or wine? Which would bring in more tourists? More money….

The people and the landscape are gorgeous, full and generous. Every day has been very surreal as we travel to and from our work sites. We are full out in the ‘bush’ here. An hour from Perth and at least 15 minutes by car from any town. Already, after only a few days, I can pick up the different personalities of the alpacas, the goats, and even the little lambs. I feel at times that I would have done well to grow up on a farm, or to have simply had more interactions with a diversity of animals at a young age. Non-human creatures are so therapeutic. Kay had major surgery 5 years ago and Bill bought her the first alpacas then. They reckon that is what turned her around. Such beautiful animals. You can never get too close to the alpacas for a good squeeze, which is really too bad because they have the most beautiful and cuddly fur, but you can get close enough. I saw little Colorado “play humping" another little alpaca the other day and that kind of turned me off of him – he’s only two weeks old! What the hell do they teach their young?

Me and a few of the girls finally visited the Doll Museum, which consists of a display inside this old, but quite nice, tea room, and extends into a trailer--a portable unit that can be moved about. I think the more expensive and sentimentally precious dolls are kept in the trailer, as it’s locked (to keep us out? To keep the dolls IN? hmmm). There are clown dolls and all sorts of freakish and even some surprisingly nice looking ones. But in that trailer we found the ‘murdering doll’—she was made of wood (very old) and had these mischievous little painted eyes that just look evil. I’m not sure of the fascination with dolls or why Kay brought them but I'll probably ask her one of these days…unless that doll gets to me first.

(The other night the girls were all chatting in our very tiny kitchen--really only a bit bigger than a large table—and on my way back from the bathroom I stood outside the kitchen door and knocked real softly, about 8 inches up from the ground, then giggled high pitched, like I guessed a doll would, then ran in place like the sound of little shoes running. Everyone laughed inside but I think I actually scared myself imagining that happening, for real.)

What about puppets? Anyone ever see that movie, “The Puppeteer”? I found a Puppet Theater in Fremantle, a town about an hour south of Perth. I may check it this weekend but at this point I’m not sure if it’s a good idea for my psyche.

Cheerio to all! I think I might visit England in the winter as I now have at least 6 students I can mooch off of once I get there! How fun does a London Pub Crawl sound?

laura